Tuesday, November 15, 2005

open up and say "ahh"

I have been considering the possibility of composing my own blog for sometime, but not forever. When I first learned of blogging it was through my sons’ father, my ex, who had just started his first, short-lived attempt at keeping a live journal. “Hmm, how arrogant,” I thought, “How completely self-indulgent to think anyone else in the world cares enough to read what you would write in your journal.” And in fact, I probably did more than just think it. Most likely I said it aloud, to him, ‘cause, well, that’s what I do: say things aloud. Loudly, oftentimes. So, Alan, I offer my very public apologies here for all the world to see. I was clearly mistaken.

But I do not retract my original theory on blogging being a self-aggrandizing act born of hubris because I finally decided I wanted to blog, too. My reframing of my opinion of blogs is the result of my exploration of other people’s blogs over the last few years and discovering that this can be an amazing tool. For one thing, committing to writing for public consumption on a regular basis is an excellent practice for any writer to keep, especially one like myself who is usually too busy, too overwhelmed, and too exhausted from the rest of my responsibilities to find free time to write, and yet I need to do so. Furthermore, there are a lot of great people saying things that ought to be said out there. There are also a lot of regular folks who are saying something compelling simply because they have a unique or insightful perspective due to their location, their experience, their particular slant.

I’d like to give you some links to blogs I have enjoyed, or from which I have learned.

First, my sister’s blog – with all due credit, I have to say her blog is ultimately the one that has propelled me the most into writing my own. Thanks, Mimi.
http://runforyourlife.blogs.friendster.com/blog

And my mom has a blog, too. I’m proud of her for putting it out there even if I heartily disagree with her flagrant disrespect for spelling properly. Keep on writing, Ma.
http://snavebed.blogs.friendster.com/the_alpha_bitch_collage

The following links are for blogs less personal to me, but such necessary voices, so well spoken, educating or saying things that have got to be said by someone, somewhere.

Baghdad Burning:
Girl Blog from Iraq... let's talk war, politics and occupation.
http://riverbendblog.blogspot.com

Herpes Nation:
Thoughts and Meditations on Holistic Treatment for Herpes
http://herpesnation.blogspot.com

And I assure you there are more, but I don’t want to send you to too many other places on my maiden blog writing venture. There will be more links in time.

So, what might you expect from my blog? Right now I feel really inspired by that lovely, old, feminist adage “The personal is political,” ‘cause I’m feeling mighty political these days, but I really like to keep it personal, keep it real. What is the point of putting my perspective out there if it isn’t MY perspective?

Expect to read about love and mothering, activism and earth caring, dancing like a dervish and poetry reading, food and sex, asthma and addiction, herbs and the moon, mind expansion and fear and frustration, polyamory, homeschooling, community and communication, and be prepared for anything.

Tonight’s composition was accompanied by an elderberry and olive leaf infusion.

8 comments:

MzSorceia said...

i love you madly.....raaaally i do.

i danced for you saturday night/morning.....hope you felt that vibe. look for it again tonight (if i can get a babysitter).

i had an awesome healing session sunday morning.....speechless....still reeling, needing to write it all down before i forget it.

can't wait to see you again....maybe i'll move my blog to here (mine is at www.livejournal.com/users/mzsorceia)

life is crazy and changing so fast i can barely keep up, which makes me more and more manic while also making me want to withdraw from the muggle world that takes up so much of my time that i could be doing something USEFUL, like drawing, dancing or playing, instead of placating the machine (teaching, answering to small minded hypocrits, etc.). change is coming....MAJOR change.......the revolution will be bloggerized.

LOVE YA!

Russ said...

What a bold motor scooter to put it out in the air like that!
You know i'm 'cited to see official Justi stuff.
Help me out though...what is a "positon"? I'm not very bright,been compared to Forrest Gump but with BAD luck, but I imagine if there is some particle deemed a positon...it would certainly emanate from you girl!
You absolutely radiate positons.
I meant that more congenially than smart ass...but I also didn't know what a blog was till today either.
I used to think the term sounded a little nasty.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Russ loves it.

Anonymous said...

I like your style here. Funny how I was looking for this type of thing, and when I came accross your blog I felt right at home. Great stuff... I think I'll add you to my favorites. With your permission I'll be coming back.

great job making this blog (good design!), keep up the good work!

~ have a nice day.
come see mymatch making blog or my french kissing tips site! I'm always hoping for some good tips...

momma justice said...

i am not going to REALLY read your blogs till you writ eme back and tell me how fucking CUTE my baby is....

she pciked her outfit and posed herself...and like yo momma, i can't/will not spell things right.
don't even care to infact////

ps laurie adams and i are REALLY going to build a school.
it is already starting to rumble.

LOVE LOV ELOLVE OV Omeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesarah

Alan said...

I think I must respond

As the aforementioned father/ex whose failed attempt at blogging was scorned by the author with her usual flare, I think it only right that I comment on that a bit.

I don't think I would deny that blogs are inherently egotistical. The whole damn web is basically one giant collection of self-aggrandizing commentary. What makes blogging, and why I initially thought I would like to do it, is not in spite of that, but because of it. There is no cost to entry, so if you have something you think is worth saying, then you say it. If you are wrong, people don't read it (or they tell you, in that special way only webwonks can, exactly what they think of you). It is the intellectual-snobs' uber-cafe. You can pontificate on whatever you want and then it is up there for everyone to see. I thought this was a brilliant notion.

The reason I never got so far into it is similar. It is daunting to consider that you are writing something for the entire world to read. Usually you write for an interested audience, and bloggers tend to think that they are doing exactly that. However, it is there for everyone, not just your friends. So I think I got scared off by the exact same thing that attracted me to it in the first place.

just said...

aww! he said I have flare! And I thought you just didn't care anymore, Alan.

mamadeb said...

spelling among a host of other hung-up formalities, i think,is highly overrated; apparently more by my daughters than anyone else i know. what the difference? the juxtaposition of words create meaning, imagery, whatever. letters can be jumbled too. do ya get my meaning, can ya catch my drift? blog on my darling.peace, alpha bitch

~ashaya~ said...

After reading your post on love, I have to say that I am envious of anyone who has the ability to love in such a big way. Since the birth of my son, I have felt, for the first time, what true love is all about. Oh sure, I've been "in love" many times before. I have told my husband that I love him a thousand times. I have flirted with the idea of truly loving myself a million times. However, to do that, I would have had to stop "protecting" myself from things that happened in the past....things that required me to build walls without windows or doors.
I'm realizing, now, that I want to do some renovation. I want windows and doors. Actually, I could even imagine tearing down the walls altogether. Last week, as I sat in the floor curled up in my husband's lap crying at the way I've hurt him by being walled up and unavailable, I thought, "Wow! How did I become so narcissistic?" Since then, I've realized that to be narcissistic, I would have to actually love myself. So maybe what I am is egotistical, self-important. And it is egotistical for me to lock myself behind my walls, because I can't see anyone else. Well, I'm ready to see you, see me, see everyone. I want to love....in a real way. I want to be polyamorous. I want to quit being (insert word meaning 'unable to love' here). One step at a time, I will learn to quit being afraid and begin being vulnerable. I will love....in a BIG WAY!
So, in the interest of not allowing this post to be a testament to my confession, I will dote on some other very important people in my life.
I am learning to love my husband because he is the gentlest and kindest person I've ever known, and he is always trying to make things and life beautiful.
I am learning to love my mother because she is the strongest person I've ever known.
I am learning to love my father for his desire to give to others.
I am learning to love my mother-in-law for caring so much.
I am learning to love my sister because she knows what she wants and she is focused.
I am learning to love my grandmother because she is forgiving.
I am learning to love my grandfather for keeping a child-like heart into his seventies.
I am learning to love my old flame, Matt, for not being afraid to be himself.
I am learning to love my teacher, Whapio, because she had the guts to tell me once what I am just now realizing is true.
I am learning to love my dear friend, Y'mani, because she can see the possibilities in anyone.
I am learning to love my best friend Meagan because, when she feels an emotion, she doesn't hold back.
I am learning to love my midwife, Justina, for being honest and for trusting me to trust myself.
I am learning to love all of my sisters for being unique, strong, smart, and supportive.
And to my (so far) one true love Amadahy...a poem...

I watch you
sleeping
your breath
almost imperceptible

and then
the corners of your mouth
turn
a beautiful big grin

I cannot help but wonder
what you dream of
and I cannot help but feel
nothing exists

except this moment

you begin to stir
rooting for my breast
craving the sweet milk
that flows from me
like a poem
written while lying in bed
with you and your
sleepy smiles